Water water everywhere, even in my underwear...

LIES! NOT as fun as it looks, peeps...

...call me a literary genius, if you will. How clever is my heading, huh? Couldn't a truer word be spoken right now...

While everything has been going well of late, the last few days have been crap weather-wise here in little ol' Adelaide. Sun, then rain, then a bit of wind that slightly knocks over the branches on your conifers, then more rain...God hasn't been overly motivating when it comes to providing a little sunshine to brighten dull moods and lazy-asses. Like myself.



So I've had a few days where it has been too wet and cold to go for my daily walks and jogs. Call me what you want, but in all seriousness, Marley can't expect me to exercise him in the RAIN. I mean, really? Does he not realise that it makes my hair FRIZZ?!?! So poor Marls has been left to his own devices in the backyard, which really is as boring as it sounds. I have seriously never been given the puppy eyes so much, which is all cutesy-whootsey to start with, then just a little bit creepy when you catch your dog watching you get dressed through the spare bedroom window. Really Marley? I'm like your MOTHER and you're doing THAT...that's just MESSED UP, bro.

I did try to make up for my laziness yesterday by trying out a new sport - squash. That was actually fun. I do, however, completely suck at it and probably only ended up on the court for a total of 10 minutes. But hey, I TOTALLY worked out the finger muscles making sure I 'Checked In' to the gym I was at on Facebook. My WiFi was down for a bit, so it took awhile, but now...thumbs of STEEL, my friends!

Me and my mad squash skillz...

However, when I awoke this morning, the sun was out (partially), the clouds were clear (except for in the distance - some heavy shit going on over there) and the wind was only a mediocre attempt at a gale. Why not walk the dog NOW, says Heidi? It's only somewhat depressing. I can do somewhat depressing. "Ray" agreed and I thought, how bad could this get?

You HAVE read the title of this post, right?

I'm sorry to keep ending my sentences with question marks, readers. Perhaps I should re-title this post: 'Irritating Rhetorical Questions No-one Gives A Damn About, Heidi'. But I HAVE already typed the heading into the title box, so...

As you guessed (because you're GENIUSES! I mean, you keep coming back to read my blog...), both "Ray" and I got SOAKED in the torrential downpour that came about 15 minutes into our walk (who would have thought) and we ended up legging it back home, stopping like a couple of homeless people at every bridge/picnic table/large tree in an attempt to find some sort of shelter. Our big manly German Shepherd cross was more pathetic than we were, trying his hardest to not get wet - jumping over puddles, refusing to walk on mud and shaking water off his coat every 20 seconds.

Yes, my dog is a princess. Could possibly have something to do with his pink blanket, purple and pink lead and my previous observations of him humping other boy dogs. OR not, who really knows...

We eventually made it home but not before - and I am pretty certain of this - I shortened my life and brought on my imminent death. Yes readers, don't be surprised if, in the next few weeks, I end up with pneumonia, pleurisy, bird flu or at least the black plague due to spending a large amount of time waterlogged. If in case I do die, then I just want you all to know that it has been the best of times, it has been the worst of times...and I swear I will never, EVER, convince myself that I am better off exercising than staying ALIVE again. I promise.

And I also promise that, either way, I will blog about it.

Like, what else am I gonna do anyway??