Meh...

Lordy Lordy Lord...

Another couple of months gone and again, I don't blog because of several reasons:

1) Laziness.
B) Lethargic-ness.
iii) Uninterested-ness
Numero Quattro) I-don't-know-but-what-I-am-sure-of-is-that-Fashion-Star-took-up-more-of-my-time-than-I-orginally-bargained-for....ness.

Yes, it would appear that I am a lazy b**ch and as I do in most posts, I apologise. To make it up to you, I am going to do something I have never, EVER done on my blog before.

EVER.

More Good News!!

After the last couple of depressive weeks and the latest slip up, I finally got sick of feeling sorry for myself. So, in a bid to lift my own spirits, I left the house. The sun wasn't out (because the weather is crap) and I'm still sick with a cold (because God hates me) but I figured that getting some fresh air would be better than continuing to suck in the recycled, high carbon-dioxidey air of my heated lounge room. I also thought that perhaps it would be a good idea to put on some proper pants as opposed to continuing to wear my Snuggie as a full body suit. Don't judge it if you haven't tried it.

Stressed! aka The Slip Up #3

Yes, hello again. It's me, Heidi. Long time no blog, I realise. Well, that's because my life has finally come to a pivotal point where the only thing left to do (clearly) is blog and tell EVERYONE about how TRAGIC my life has become. One month shy of turning 28 and I have come to a realisation in my life, people. And it dawned on me earlier today as I lay on my sick bed, waiting for the Angel of Death to sweep in and take me to the heavens sat on my couch wrapped in my Snuggie. 

What is this realisation, you ask? Well, let me tell you then.

Wait for it...

Apologies and Anecdotes...

I should start with "I'm sorry". It's been a long time since my last post and although I have been busy, that is no excuse. I know I have left many people hanging, waiting to hear my witty blog-banter, craving a lil' something-something they could snort (in a metaphorical sense, of course). No, I am not condoning drugs, although technically I take them myself and have for years. Insulin: all the cool kids are doing it.

Thanks Pump Boy.

...and then my boob popped out

May be a slight exaggeration, but it wasn't too far off.

Last week, I had friends over for Friday night drinks. It's something I wish I did more often, but my chaotic life doesn't usually allow it. Luckily for me, now that Glee has moved to Thursday nights, my Friday's are once again MY TIME. Fiiiinalllyyy...

It has been a while in between catch ups with my crew (who have never before been referred to as "My Crew", because well, let's be honest...I'm less ghetto and more like 'Omo' - I whiten and brighten) (and anywayz, they had better get used to it because it's too bloody hard writing out all 10 of their names), so when the RSVPs came back and a few said they would stop by, I went out and bought the best low-fat dip I could find! I then threw my low-fat atrocity dip at my own head and got something totally fat and delicious, and then compromised by adding carrots to the platter. THEN I went to the best cheap shop I could find!!...and got chips and choccie biscuits. Just because I'm watching what I eat, doesn't mean my loyal and lovely friends of 10+ years have to suffer. Plus I figured it wouldn't kill me if I gave in to temptation on the night and had a biscuit. Or two. Or a chip. Or 12. Or a mouth-watering, calorie-filled, juicy, greasy dollop of Pumpkin and Parmesan chunky dip. On a carrot.

Water water everywhere, even in my underwear...

LIES! NOT as fun as it looks, peeps...

...call me a literary genius, if you will. How clever is my heading, huh? Couldn't a truer word be spoken right now...

While everything has been going well of late, the last few days have been crap weather-wise here in little ol' Adelaide. Sun, then rain, then a bit of wind that slightly knocks over the branches on your conifers, then more rain...God hasn't been overly motivating when it comes to providing a little sunshine to brighten dull moods and lazy-asses. Like myself.

Good News!!!

Yes it is good news, readers: I ROCK!!! 

So I had an appointment with my diabetes doctor earlier in the week. It was just to check up on how things were going with "The Change", and to be completely honest, I was crapping my pants just a little bit. Like, not enough to warrant an old lady nappy or anything, but just enough to cause a curious odour. Too much information? Well, I don't care, because nothing and NO ONE could upset me with the mood I'm in! 

You know you're a teacher when...

OK, so here are some times in life when, as a teacher, you don't want to run into students you have previously taught:

The Slip Up #2

Not ONCE have I claimed that life - or this damn diet - was easy. If you say that I have, then I will seriously poke you in the eye with a fork. A big, fat, GREASY fork that is dripping in the juices of my failed attempt at restoring my health.

Sorry for the aggression friends, but I have officially had Slip Up #2. And my body HATES me for it right now. And honestly, I have possibly had a 'chick flick' kind-of moment where I took a good, hard long look in the mirror and just quietly hated myself.

I DID try to fight it however, so that counts for something, right???? RIGHT?!?!?

*NOTE* Please ignore ANY desperation you come across in this particular blog post. It is merely my lower intestine talking as it groans and churns in what can only be described as an attempt to make my life difficult and somewhat uncomfortable.

Belated Easter Greetings

Happy belated Easter y'all.

Hope you all celebrated and had a lovely weekend. Me? Well gosh, thank you SO much for asking. You really are a polite lot. I had a JAM-PACKED Easter experience that has left me exhausted and possibly a couple of kilos heavier than when I started.

Yep, the diet didn't get completely forgotten, but it did get shoved to the side like the ugly, younger sibling that no one ever really wanted. Including it's parents. Harsh, but true.

So "Ray" and I went camping with friends. Had a great time, got back to nature, watched a heap of kids scream and yell and innocently ride bikes around our camp site, thought of different ways to catch a kid by fashioning a trap of some sort...I am a teacher by trade, so it wouldn't have been dodgy. The catching of the kid I mean, not the fashioning of the trap. That would have been COMPLETELY dodgy considering I have NO concept of rope knots, cage-assembling and I tend to fluster under pressure. I mean, I nearly CRIED watching "Ray" put together an IKEA cupboard.


As usual, I digress...

The evidence that other people have funnier blogs than mine

Like I have said previously, I have been looking at other people's blogs. I've even decided to "follow" a few of them because they're good. And funny. And inspiring. And clearly, nothing like mine. One of the blogs I have been following, Just Making Convo, I only found recently but after reading one particular post, I was left NEARLY DEAD, as I was laughing so hard that I pretty much GAGGED on my own tongue. Yes. I said I GAGGED. ON. MY. TONGUE.


I know you don't believe me.

Please Marry My Boy...or break up with him a week after filming. I don't mind.

I didn't think I would be using my blog to vent about TV-related issues, seeing as I seem to have so much else going on in my life at the moment (what, with all the not working and using my spare time to blog about myself going on), but I recently became involved with a TV show that finished a few days ago and I have been left feeling somewhat unsatisfied and, shall I say it...disillusioned.

I'm NOT leaving without my havaiana...

...is EXACTLY what I said to my dog, Marley, when I was in the car park at the beach earlier today.

I need to be honest with everyone right now. I'm a "talk-to-myself-because-I'm-the-only-one-who-understands" type of girl. Yes, I'm the one you see at the shops discussing at length with herself about what type of lettuce to buy, whether to get more bananas or apples this week and justifying (loudly) to myself the reasons why it's OK for an adult to get kids mandarins (they have no seeds. NO. SEEDS!) 

International Super Star

Well, looks like I've made the big time, folks.


Firstly, I'd like to thank God, for putting me on this earth and for, in his infinite wisdom, creating the all-amazing, all-wondrous creation: the BLOG.


Secondly, I must thank my parents for obviously giving me life and also for continuing to eat all my favourite sugary delights in front of me, inspiring me to create this blog instead of turning to a life of crime and spending thousands on therapy and defence lawyers.


Lastly, I must give thanks to the country that made this all happen. I may be Australian born-and-bred, but it has been across the ocean where the love has been truly felt. 


Yes friends, it has happened. I am becoming a bit of a celebrity. I'm thinking I'm currently a G or H Grade, but I hope to move up the ranks to at least a E or F grade by end of next week. And where, I can hear you asking, will the paparazzi be camped out, waiting for yours truly to be stepping out???

Blog Envy

So it's been a while since I last updated - apologies to the few people who actually gave a damn. But see, I've had a slight problem when it comes to blogging. It's sorta the same problem I've had my whole life and it's what has lead me to be, well, not a complete fatty-boom-bah, but what I like to think of as a cuddly teddy bear that is full of love, laughs, hopes and dreams. It's OK, I can hear you saying it now: Oh, I see, it's not fat. It's hopes and DREAMS that she's storing like it's a recession or something...

What IS this magical thing that has pranced MERRILY around me like a gay fairy all my life?

The Slip-Up

Oh Colonel, you are SO FREAKING HARD to resist.

You ol' minx, you...

So I'm nearly 2 whole weeks into my "new diet" and tonight I caved. I've been so very very very good. AND it's been a busy couple of weeks. Last week, I had my cousin's engagement party and I managed to resist the spring rolls, calamari rings and mini burgers (which my Dad un-apologeticaly ate RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE while giving me the "Sorry darl, feel for ya but just don't love you enough to pretend I'm not enjoying this snack-sized delight" look.

"The Change"

Don't worry, I'm not about to start harping on about THAT "change"...you know, the one that tends to happen when your ovaries decide to shrivel up. I'm only 27, and while the constant heat waves here in Adelaide have caused me to have hot flushes like my menopausal mother, I am in fact talking about another type of change I am about to be forced into undertake. 

First. Post. Ever.

OhmygodIhaveablog.

Soooo....erm, hello world. It's nice to finally meet you all. I'm Heidi, I'm 27 years old and I'm your host. I am the said diabetic drama queen. The diabetic part is because, well...it's quite self explanatory, really. I'm a type 1 diabetic and have been for nearly 20 years. The drama queen part is because I like to carry on somewhat and when I'm getting serious I tend to rely on THE CAPS LOCK TO EMPHASIS MY POINT. Yep, you're gonna be reading a lot of that.