Stressed! aka The Slip Up #3

Yes, hello again. It's me, Heidi. Long time no blog, I realise. Well, that's because my life has finally come to a pivotal point where the only thing left to do (clearly) is blog and tell EVERYONE about how TRAGIC my life has become. One month shy of turning 28 and I have come to a realisation in my life, people. And it dawned on me earlier today as I lay on my sick bed, waiting for the Angel of Death to sweep in and take me to the heavens sat on my couch wrapped in my Snuggie. 

What is this realisation, you ask? Well, let me tell you then.

Wait for it...

I am an emotional eater.

I know, it came as a surprise to me, too. Funnily enough, being nearly 10 kilos overweight never gave it away before. Hmm.

But how did I come to this epiphany? Wow, you really are an inquisitive reader, and I thank you for that. WELL, if you hadn't already picked up on it, I'm sick at the moment - practically DYING, actually - and I'm feeling as though I should probably be in the market for some DIY Will Kits.

Trust me, I NEVER embellish.

I have also been feeling slightly stressed out over the last few weeks. Nothing too drastic or worthy of writing about (because trust me, if it can be blogged, I WILL over-dramatise and OVER-EXAGGERATE all about it); just everyday, grown-up issues that I've never really had to deal with previously. You know, things like paying a mortgage when you only work a couple of days a week, dealing with family dramas, taking care of various health issues and, more importantly, attempting to get over the fact that it's looking like Mary and Matthew will NEVER get together again on Downton Abbey. Sigh, is there ANYTHING more tragic than unrequited love...???

Check out the sexual tension. Tell me that
it doesn't just KILL you...!!!

I'm pretty sure that it has been the stress in my life that has made me this sick. I am also just as sure that if Matthew only realised how Mary felt, then he and she would truly live happily ever after. At least then my Sunday nights would be less tense.

ANYWAY, looking back at the last couple of weeks, I realise that my emotional eating has started rearing it's ugly, deliciously carbohydrated head. I mean, if it were a food, it would be a large-sized bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese. Why that particular dish? I have no idea, it just seems appropriate.
So...back to my stress making me eat. I know this because I have slowly been eating more and more over the last 2 weeks. At least, I've been telling myself, it has been all the good stuff, because I refuse to buy junk food now. So I've been hitting up all the diary in our house - yoghurt, cheese, mugs of hot Milo - and scoffing all our fruit like it's whizz fizz and I'm 5 years old. Seriously, it becomes a desperate situation when I'm down to a Tupperware container full of sultanas that I'm practically popping like party pills. Go natural sugar high!! Yeah!!!

Thumbs up for sultanas!!!!

So I'm all dosed up with Vitamins A, B1, B2 and C and my iron levels are through the roof because I've been cooking a lot of red meat in the hopes it will fill me up and stop me snacking in the evenings (FYI it worked up until I found the sultanas...) But then, as happens when you're a pig, I kinda ate everything and starting doing silly things. Like eating chips left in staff rooms at schools. Or going to my parent's place and having a cookie. Or 4. Or - I'm ashamed to say - making a Milo cake just because I CAN!! *Hangs head* Oh the shame...it didn't even fluff up like  it was meant to because I mistakenly used plain flour instead of self-raising. It was sadly the most delicious flat cake I've had in  a while; not since the banana cake debacle of 2009 have I enjoyed a rock-hard, flavoured pancake like that *shakes head sadly*.

And now, with my impending death sickness, I have gone and done what I told myself I wouldn't do when I was feeling down. Yes, for dinner tonight, I have gone from this:

and this

and even this...

...to this:

I am so ashamed and full of 11 secret herbs and spices right now.

But it was kinda awesome, even if the euphoria only lasted the 13 minutes it took me to devour all the fatty, salty, carbohydrate-y goodness.

Well, I'm putting it all down to a bad couple of weeks. Tomorrow's dinner: stuffed capsicums with roasted veggies. And for lunch...??

Sultanas, of course :-D